4 Ways to Accept & Deal with Failure or Criticism
We all experience failure & criticism at some point in our lives, including the most successful people in the world. Failure is an inescapable part of life but how we manage it is what matters most. Managing criticism and failure can be challenging for many. This is understandable because the initial impact of either is rarely pleasant, & often uncomfortable. The Post Impact, however, is where the focus must come in. When you shift your focus from the "problem" and focus more on the solution the post-impact usually doesn't result in depression, regrets, or resentment. Therefore, learning to manage the initial & post impacts of criticism or failure as early as possible can help you achieve success in many areas and improve your life. Here are 4 strategies that can be quite helpful if applied when faced with failure or criticism
Practice Mindfulness of Feelings - Responding vs Reacting
After receiving criticism or failure, it’s important to practice mindfulness and be fully aware of our feelings and emotions. By being mindful and acknowledging these feelings, we can separate ourselves from them, see them for what they are, and “ride them out”, instead of letting them take over and control us. We can learn from our feelings and use them as a signal to know what we need to adjust in our lives. When we don’t make the distinction between our feelings and our response to them, we can’t really understand what we need to do in the situation. And even more importantly, we can’t help others who are experiencing the same thing. Reacting is an unplanned, reflexive reaction to anger or fear that occurs without thinking. An unplanned, impulsive response is a reaction. When we respond, we consider the scenario, assess our values and goals, and make a conscientious decision. Reacting often leads to irrational decisions, which may have grave outcomes, whereas responding helps us stay grounded and make better decisions. By responding, we can communicate more effectively, which improves our social connections. The next time you find yourself in a difficult situation, consider your options carefully. You may discover that responding is the most effective approach.
Understanding Your Self-Worth
Often, the root of people’s irrational reactions to criticism and failure is low self-worth. If we don’t have high self-worth, it can be easy for us to take things personally, to let them get to us, and to feel as though our entire identity is wrapped up in the criticism or failure we received. For example, if someone tells you that your idea is bad, it can be easy to let that destroy your entire sense of self-worth and identity, especially if you don’t have a good sense of who you are apart from the idea or project. If you know your self worth is on the lower end of the spectrum then take a look at our last article for resources that may help. Bottomline is, If you have a strong sense of self-worth, you will apply the criticism because you understand that it’s not a reflection on you, but a reflection on the idea.
Criticism = Helpful Feedback = A Gain
If we’re honest with ourselves, we will realize that almost all criticism & moments of failure can be turned into a learning opportunity. All it takes is a little bit of objectivity along with a willingness to learn from our mistakes and an openness to see where we went wrong to know how we can do better next time. When we’re in the moment and feeling the sting of criticism, it can be hard to see any positive in the situation at all. That’s normal, but it’s important to make a conscious effort to look for the lesson in the criticism and to view it as helpful feedback. A mindset exercise you can practice is redirecting your perception of criticism from negative to positive in real time. When practicing redirecting your perception, it’s important to focus on the reality of circumstances after getting feedback or failing. Control your focus by asking yourself questions like; “What do I know now that I didn’t know before” or “xyz happened but the good thing is”. By practicing this exercise, you can consciously improve your mindset while training your brain to be more receptive to change. After all, lessons are wisdom & wisdom is a gem. It’s important to count all lessons as blessings regardless of if they are emotional, spiritual, intellectual, mental, or physical.
Look for new Opportunities to Improve
Most people have a hard time successfully adapting to new situations if they do not know what to expect from them. Before you’re about to start a new endeavor, you need to think about what you are about to face. You also need to be ready for mistakes to be made, because as you know, mistakes are inevitable. So, when you’re about to start a new venture, take a few moments to map out your plan of action. This will help you prepare for any potential problems and put you in a better position to adapt to them. So, when you encounter failure, take immediate action. What do we mean by this? Simply put, you need to fix whatever caused the failure as soon as you can. In case of a mishap, fix it right away because it’s important not to make the same mistake again. All ethical practice is good practice when you are trying to improve yourself. Learn as much as you can from the experience, and don’t let one setback stop you from moving forward.
Bottomline
Failure can be a stepping-stone to success if we learn from our mistakes. With each challenge we overcome, we become stronger and more equipped to handle future obstacles in our lives. And when we look back on our life experiences and realize that they all led us to where we are now, we can feel incredibly grateful and motivated to keep going forward. No matter what happens in life, there is something positive to be gained from it. We must be open to receiving lessons and be willing to apply them to our lives to progress and improve.
